crying a River for Ellie
by guns-and-lipstick
Summary: River song has moved on in life and became Ellie Langdon but her past catches up with her one day and her new found hatred for the doctor is explained and solved. K for River being River!


The Hope Springs hotel was silent and some what spooky but that did not put of Doctor Smith, who was quite fond of a certain bitchy hotel owner. Little did he know this hotel owner was certainly not fond of him, at least not anymore.

It was a quiet day for Ellie Langdon and for her that was a blessing, of course she enjoyed the girls company but sometimes she just wanted to remember the old times, before she met Roy and before things went so horribly wrong. To Shoo it may have seemed like some corpse bride fantasy but to Ellie it meant so much more and that's why she still did it. That's why every so often Ellie would take out the old dresses she had saved and pretend to be what she used to be, hell in high heels.

Oh how she had missed it all, the glamour and happiness, no it was not glamorous anymore and she should stop clinging on to it so desperately. Why was it that she could keep up the pretence of forgetting him but still be so infatuated by memories that should have been shot when she was still gun happy instead of left to rot with her and tear at her, a shadow of her previous self.

But no now she had to cling on to these memories of her only happiness, after all losing them might just destroy her. The dress she was holding was now a memory and maybe that was why she had such a secure grip to it, maybe that's the reason it was her favourite. Yes was and is not anymore because the past must stay in the past so that sanity will still be sanity and Ellie would still be Ellie.

Have you ever felt that you could throw everything you had worked for away and lose it eternally for mere seconds of the sweetest thing, yes you have but you've never actually done it and been successful and that was what separated you from Ellie. For she would do it and would try ever so hard to but she can't do it as she is a million things but selfish and how selfish would it be to leave Hannah, Shoo and Josie.

Knowing that nostalgia would only help at a time like this she wore her sassy yet sophisticated red dress and weapon like heels whilst thinking she was alone and no one would ever know, oh how wrong she was.

Someone knocked on the door before opening it and gasping at how different Ellie looked, this someone was Josie.

"Well? What do you want!" Ellie snapped harshly at her before being sat down and told the whole story of the strange man, new to the area and claiming to know her, the strangest thing was that apparently he would not talk to anyone about anything other than the location of Ellie and for some unknown reason kept calling her River.

Okay deep breaths, a lot of people from her past knew her as River and a lot of them still existed, unfortunately. No, positive, it is not him and will never be him because he died a long time ago and he was... NO, he is dead to me and that is all that matters.

"So, ya know anyfin' 'bout 'im?" asked Josie.

Oh no what do I say, what if my accent comes out, oh...argh! "No not a fing." Great, I managed to sound and feel stupid in under 30 seconds.

"Okay then." Josie smiled, thankfully believing my lie.

Mere minutes had passed and already Shoo was here babbling her usual incoherent nonsense and tugging at her to come downstairs and 'murder mystery man' , I had no idea she was capable of such a long sentence.

Wait oh here it is, this is extremely annoying, I can not believe that my accent that I had to work on forever is gone and replaced by... by my old one. God a man from my past, a personality from my past, a voice from my past and clothing from my past! It's all came back to haunt me.

Never in her life had Ellie Langdon been truly scared and sad but there is a first for everything... and a last. Roy was her prince charming compared to the man that waited downstairs for her, and yes she was sure that it was this man because she always had been sure that he would come back for her, the doctor always did come eventually, wanted or not he would come back to her and her doctor had came.

There was one thing she needed now and that was a lot of something very strong, which happened to be downstairs, perfect!

Creekkk! Creakkkkkkk! 'Urgh, the repair men were meant to be here a week ago and still hadn't showed up, just wait till I get my hands around their necks' I thought murderously. Turning with my large bottle of vodka, I heard a old voice that I would give anything to forget.

"Honey I'm home!" Beamed the lanky little man with a bow tie, ironic that he loves it so much and ,if my plan works, it could be the death of him. No I have gone legit so no killing or strangling, what a shame. Well with what he said and me getting a grip there is only one thing left for me to say.

"Drop dead sweetie"

"Sweetie?" questions Gill.

"What's with the posh voice?" demands Shoo.

"I thought ya didn't know 'im" states Josie.

"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?!" yells Anne Marie.

"We'll explain later, and I am trying to have a conversation which you all keep interrupting so very rudely." The Doctor says in his sweet Doctor-ish voice, no, not sweet, bad, evil.

"And by the way darling why are you so upset with me that you decide to..."

SLAP!

"slap me."

"Four years, two hit men and no visits." I choke out while the tears I fought so hard unleash themselves and stream freely down my face.

"What?" he lies, oblivious to the fact I'm hurt and crying. He knows exactly what I mean but he seems to be a very good liar and I feel a pang of guilt since he looks so genuinely confused but he is the one that ignored me for four years while I rotted in a hell hole and then sent two hit men after me, Roy and Marius. He is the one that should feel guilty not me.

"Oh um... darling don't cry just tell me what I did and we can sort it out, there there it's all going to be better." he cooed whilst hugging her affectionately.

And then I realise he honestly has no idea what im talking about and he still loves me just as much as I love him. He cares for me and saves me from myself by prising the bottle off me and gently dabbing my eyes with a tissue. He is my Doctor and shall always be able to heel me no matter how fractured or broken, he is my doctor and always will be. Through thick or thin, for better or worse, in health or sickness, he is my Doctor.


End file.
